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A Part of Me Died When I let You Go...


I was young but I wasn't naive
I watched helpless as you turned around to leave
And still I have the pain I have to carry
A past so deep that even you could not bury if you tried


After all this time I never thought we'd be here
Never thought we'd be here
When my love for you was blind
But I couldn't make you see it
Couldn't make you see it
That I loved you more than you'll ever know
A part of me died when I let you go


I would fall asleep
Only in hopes of dreaming
That everything would be like it was before
But nights like this it seems are slowly fleeting
They disappear as reality is crashing to the floor ... Thursday, August 31, 2006


Thursday, August 31, 2006


Silent Nights and Solitary Days..

Adios.... Ever felt lonely? Yes that's right.. The feeling of loneliness sucks..Loneliness is not the abscence of faces. It is the absence of intimacy. Loneliness doesn't come from being alone; it comes from feeling alone. Feeling as if you are... perhaps.. facing death alone? facing diseases alone? facing the future alone.

"I feel so alone, does anyone care?" Bags of loneliness shows up everywhere.. They litter the floors of pubs and clubs. We drag them into parties and usually drag them back out. You'll spot them near the desk of the studious overworker, beside the table of the overeater, and on the night stand of the one night stand. As humans, we'll try anything to unload our loneliness. This one is one bag that we want to drop quickly.

When u're lonely, you do the same in life.. pulling stuffs off the shelf, not because you need it, but because you are hungry for L.O.V.E. ... And why so? Because we fear facing life alone. For fear of not fitting in, we take drugs..(There goes drug addicts). For fear of standing out, we wear the clothes... For fear of going unnoticed, we dress to seduce or to impress (there goes the shopaholic) For fear of sleeping alone, we sleep with anyone (there goes the"one-night-standers"). For fear of not being loved, we search for love in all the wrong places...

As the saying goes.. "But all that changes when we discover God's perfect love. And perfect love cast out fear".
Loneliness.. Could it be one of the finest gift? To make one learn to grow? Say.. learn to be more independent? or mature? If a season of solitude is His way to teach you to hear his song, don't you think it's worth it?
So do I.

To my Dear Sweet pixie Fangwen, one day when you do feel lonely do remember me.. though there are a couple of emotional troubles that are hard for me to digest at this point of my life... I'll still and will be.. There for you... Wednesday, August 30, 2006


Nuraine and I and yes.. we did enjoy our time there.... =)
Yum Yum Candy floss
"I WANT LIBERTY SANDWICH"!
D.I.Y Candy floss machine.. An amazing concept isn't it?
Recently I went to .. newYork newYork.. Wednesday, August 30, 2006


And I did..!!!
Turn me "ON" if you can!
Astro Boy... Is this the only shop in Town?
L.O.V.E C.U.P.S ( I have these at home!)
Time Is Fire In Which We Burn.... Thats uber true..
Wednesday, August 30, 2006








I wish.. I hope.. I ponder..
So much over it..
This is the day when I saw you once again..
With them.. Or should I say, with her..
I felt it was normal..
For you to hang out with them.
I felt perfectly fine..

But what I know was a different story.
I heard her picture was in your phone as a display..
I chose to give you the benefit of doubt.
But to my avail, things are pointing to the wrong direction..
Time & time, I saw you guys together..
And each time when I saw you, you never fail to look flustered.
I know that there's another guy around.. But so what?
Yes! "Pearlyn, YOU SHOULDN'T JUMP INTO CONCLUSION"
NO "Pearlyn YOU SHOULDN'T PONDER SO MUCH OVER IT,
YOU GUYS HAVE BROKEN UP!" - Thats what i always tell myself..

But hey.. I've not move on.
I don't wanna add on to your stress..
But right now, you are adding on to mine..
Your so icey attitude towards me is so hard for me to bear.
At least, at the very very least..
Tell me, what's on your mind..
Are you in love with her?

I'm so, so afraid that I'll fall into depression..
Till now, I still hope and wish and pray that 1 day you'll come back for me..
That the 3 months is still on.
Is our 1 year 3 months relationship over just like that?
At this point I feel betrayed by you..
I don't hate you Darling..
I hate myself for loving you.. much too much.. Wednesday, August 30, 2006



That day when I skipped class for you.. That day when flowers fall.. How come I couldn't see.. The disappearing rainy sky? I really wish tp be drenched again. Never thought that I still keep the courage I've lost.. Really wish to ask again.. Will you wait or leave?

The day of the stormy rain.. I tried to hold on to your hand.. But yet the rain gradually fell.. Heavy to the point I couldn't see you.. How much longer? Before I can be by your side? Waiting for the day when it clears.. Maybe I'll be a bit better..

In the past, In the past.. There was someone who loved you for a long time.. But yet the wind gradually.. Blows the distance apart.. It's not so easy.. To once be able to love for another day... But at the story's end.. It seems you still said.. Bye Bye.. Wednesday, August 30, 2006


Kaifen and I at Marina's sakae...

My lovveeelLLly table
Sweet pixie Fangwen on the day of our badminton and mini picnic. Swinngg

Misc....

Tuesday, August 29, 2006


Many of my friends had asked me to update my blog.. SOrry peeps have been really busy with lotsa projects to be completed and exams coming up. Gonna have my break 3 weeks later and a couple of friends are coming home from overseas--> this means.. Partying partying and lotsa partying.. WhHHEEEe!

Had been trying to upload my pics. But I dunnooo WHY all the uploading sites ain't working everytime I try. guess there's a mass network conspiracy. =( (I'll return as soon as I can peeps (or when my laptop stop playing tricks on me)

P.s. To the guy who gave me a bouquet of flowers.If you're reading this.. Thank You heaps. Its gorgeous.. Monday, August 28, 2006


OHHLaAA!! Today.. I had a mini picnic and badminton cum basketball session with my beloved pixie Fangwen... Time flies really fast with her around. Sweets! i miss ur peanut butter jam with banana sandwich! Tried making it at home but it aint as good as urs! I miss u so much!MOre pictures coming up!! I PROMISE Saturday, August 26, 2006


"Perfect moment"

this is my moment
this is my perfect moment with you
this is what God meant
this is my perfect moment with you

i wish i could freeze the space in time
the way that i feel for you inside
this is my moment
this is my perfect moment with you

tell me you love when you leave
you're more than a shadow that's what i believe
you take me to places i never thought i'd see
minute by minute you're the world to me

i wish i could frame the look in your eyes
the way that i feel for you inside
this is my moment
this is my perfect moment with you

and if tomorrow brings a lonely day
here and now i know i've haven't lived in vain
i'll cry my tears in the rain and if love never come again
i can always say i've been to paradise skies in your
so tell me you love the moment you leave
you're more than a shadow i've got to believe Friday, August 25, 2006


This song is simply lovely....
VERTICAL HORIZON
Best I Ever Had (Grey Sky Morning)

So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring
Nothing's quite the same now
I just say your name now

[Chorus]But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't want me back
You're just the best I ever had
So you stole my world
Now I'm just a phony
Remembering the girl
Leaves me down and lonely
Send it in a letter
Make yourself feel better

[Chorus]
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
You don't need me back
You're just the best I ever had
And it may take some time to

Patch me up inside
But I can't take it so I
Run away and hide
And I may find in time that
You were always right
You're always right
So you sailed away
Into a grey sky morning
Now I'm here to stay
Love can be so boring
What was it you wanted
Could it be I'm haunted

[Chorus]
But it's not so bad
You're only the best I ever had
I don't want you back
You're just the best I ever had
The best I ever had

Thursday, August 24, 2006




Adios! Finally able to sit down and type. had been busy lately.. with lotsa tests and exams coming up.. Sadly since that day, I have never ever heard from you again. I dont know why you chose to cut me outta ur life. i did not get a phone call sms or email. no esplanation. nothing at all. I tried my best to get in touch with you but to no avail. my heart at this point really split into two. I felt so much pain and sorrow inflicted on me. Despite that, i put on a brave face for the world to see. At home, i was suffering in tears and high string emotions. There were nights i couldnt sleep because i was thinking way too much. Questioning & wondering why.. Crying at the moments we had together and at the lost of the future together.

Of course as an outsider, most of you may think i'm stupid and silly. Most of my friends asked me to move on. How could i keep chasing someone who's like that? How could i want somebody who was emotionally unavailable all the time? Why did i put myself through so much pain? Someone who wanted me yet reject me all of a sudden. And my answer is.. sometimes things in life can't be explained. when you feel intense love for somebody, you try your best to help, love and care for them. Perhaps thats not what he wanted. everyone has been through this before. It is in our nature to crave love, want love and be loved. And sometimes we find it in the weirdest moments.

Truly I dont have regrets. Despite the usual & sometimes painful circumstances, i feel happier and have grown so much from this experience. Of course, i still feel a little scared to take a leap of faith into the path we call "LOVE" but my heart was healed. I still believe. And a recent encounter with an "angel" had made me believe even more...
Thursday, August 24, 2006


Lets put it this way... i dont understand Sleazy or Slow guys. I put both in this category coz I'm referring to the social scene. Pick up lines are a no no for me! Forget about trying coz I won't even give you a second chance. Just be yourself, be nice and just say hi. All this your eyes must be diamonds in the sky is bull*&%$. Try grabbing my butt and you'll surely get a slap on the face or even worse, a kick on your balls! Slow guys also irritate me.

I've had a couple of experiences where I have met some people for the first time and things are good. And suddenly it goes quiet, sort of like a game play. Like they suddenly lose their guts to pursue and it'll make me feel like a cliff hanger to drop or not???

Then I get a text that implies me to make the next move by asking me to keep in touch; hinting for me to invite them out; or even offer to cook them dinner. Sorry guys, if you like me, just do it straight and honest. You dont have to worry about the outcome. Its the process that is important. LEARN!

Wednesday, August 23, 2006


Scrumptuos Dinner at Chocz. And they were serving.... Chocolate buffet.!!!
Irresistable chocolates.. Notice the gold dust chocolates?
Nurain and I .... after lotsa munching, chomping, chewing, swalling and gulping...We realise that WE WANT MORE!


Irresistable foods... Monday, August 21, 2006

Pearlyn -A passionate bubbly 19 yr old, who loves to love and believes in Love, blissful, chilling, travelling, sorting life out, just like a star,Partying, chilling, music, movies, roller blading, dining, meeting lovely people, gorgeous beach, tuning to the bizarre skyline, SIA flight stewardess, pilots, airports, new experiences, reading, lips, eys, vainty fair, cheesecakes, sputnik sweetheart, freedom, beauty junkie, God, people who love Jesus, New creation church, hillsong united, hillsong london, hillsong australia, sunrise, sunset, spunky sunglasses, lovely hair accessories, vibrant colours, waves, smiles, tears, that 1 man who makes me smile (who??), awesome people. and a girl in waiting to be a Flight Stewardess by the age of 20. Email: fantasygal_luv@hotmail.com

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